Ripples and Smoke on the Water: The Fear of Death

Ripples and Smoke on the Water: The Fear of Death: The fear of death It is also referred to as thanatophobia (fear of death), and is distinguished from necrophobia, which is a specifi...

The Fear of Death

The fear of death

It is also referred to as thanatophobia (fear of death), and is distinguished from necrophobia, which is a specific fear of death or dying persons and/or things (i.e. others who are dead or dying, not one's own death or dying). To this date, nobody in their right mind would tag me to be an obsessive-compulsive disorder person or OCD as it is commonly called. On the other hand, people who know me well can see that there have been times where I dwelled on the fears of death or experienced a death related anxiety in my life. 

Whether there is a correlation between these two disorders is anyone’s guess but I am sharing mine with you to demonstrate that death does play a significant part in my life as well as your life, whether we like to admit that or not. Death is a reality we rarely prepare for properly and without careful planning or assessments. Some have said that ‘death is the worm at the core’ of every human being using the apple as a metaphor. 

As we are born, we are literally taught to die. Either through cultural means or religious practices, we are taught to prepare for death in many ways depending on your social upbringings as well as your life experiences. These lessons taught to us come in many forms; art, literature, scriptures, etc. thus it can be said that death anxiety is really a positive experience or coping mechanism to prepare yourself for the end days. So when we are born, we are arguably preparing to die.
My life experiences include many facets of death. As a teenager, I experienced death by the unfortunate and dreadful hanging of a good friend in his dad’s garage because he was gay and couldn’t cope with the ridicule and bullying at school. An unforgettable event, it lingered with me forever. Seeing his lifeless body hanging from the rafters was an experience that I could have never prepared myself for thus it was most shocking to me. 

Drafted into the Army during the Vietnam War, I was trained to be a medic and earned my combat medic badge within months of arrival in that country. Seeing men wounded, sometimes fatally and sometimes slightly caused me to think about death even more. The longer I remained in that combat zone, the more death played a part of surviving the chaos and ordeals around me. You could say that it was the fear of death that allowed me to survive. 

Spending more than twenty-five years as a correctional employee, working positions from the basic ground floor of a correctional officer to the top echelon position as a prison administrator, death became a partner for me on a regular basis. Death inside a prison came in three venues, natural death, homicides and suicides. In my experience, death inside a prison was no anomaly and as often as it occurred, I never really got used to it. Faceless, nameless and sometimes, just a forgotten moment, it always came up at the worst moments in a flashback of the experience. 

So to reiterate my position or experience a little, the fear of death is tangible. Although it may not consume all your conscious time on this earth, it does play on your mind at times when you are reminded of the loss of a family member, friend or foe, that death is imminent and a really large or significant part of your life whether you admit that or not. The fear of death is real. Historically, cultures have recorded vast religious or social practices to address the awareness of our own mortality, either consciously or unconsciously. So we experience the form of death either in a tangible or intangible manner throughout our lives. As we grow, our knowledge about death grows. That’s a natural progression we cannot stop or interfere with regardless how hard you try. 

Does death bother me so much I suffer insomnia about the worry of dying? Not hardly but for many, the fear of death lies at the heart of many sleep disorders for someone who has experienced a life changing event e.g. heart attack, cancer, wounded in a war or in a domestic relationship. The list is endless as even normal routines can bring about the worries or fears of death. That is a normal and acceptable fact. 

Do we take extra precautions or security routines to minimize the fear of death? Not really but we do socially or physically adjust and adapt our life’s routines to avoid the heavier risks of death by changing our life styles, social events and hangouts in unfamiliar places. I am certain that the worry of death or the potential to reinforce the fear of death as a cause for mental disorders. 

On the other hand, some people dare the fear of death by doing just the opposite and expose themselves to the risks of death at a higher degree of risk or exposure. Citing daredevil stunts of heights, speed, and or challenging the elements such as altitude and water, gives them a rush of adrenaline that brings them the satisfaction sought in their lives. 

The one fear of death that bothers me the most is the separation anxiety disorder that may develop if I were to lose someone close to me. Without a doubt, the loss of my spouse would tear me apart. No doubt this connection is special to me and isn’t really about the mortality but rather the intimacy and personal relationship that person holds to me. Even without social disorders, or any other anxiety disorders, the thought of separation through the loss of a loved one will definitely drive up my fear of death, not just for myself but for her as well. This is one intrusion of death I cannot control, no matter how hard I try. 

Strangely, it is the fear of death that rules some rituals in our society that actually cause deaths rather than prevent them. It appears that some people can’t handle the obsession of death and become sufferers themselves in behavioral manifestations that can lead to aggressive obsessions fear that they may inadvertently, in an altered state of their mental awareness, take their own life or the life of a loved one. It appears that during this time, the art of self-preservation is lost and one’s demise or the death of another is certain.

In my case, the thoughts of death trigger my defense mechanisms. Tactics that include the suppression of thoughts of death and focusing on life. Death related thoughts can bring a certain degree of vulnerability to oneself and impact levels of self-esteem or other mitigated fears. This kind of self-control is vital to survival.
At this point in my life, death has not paralyzed me but rather, motivated me to be better prepared to die when the time comes. Although I have experienced many ways to avoid death, I can only dodge the inevitable for a limited amount of time as it will either greet me awake or asleep. 

My concluding comments include the fact that death is imminent and likely to happen sooner than later. Despite all the factors involved in dealing with death, there are no significant levels of anxiety or anticipated obsession levels in my train of thoughts about my death but I can’t say that about the death of others.
Specifically, my spouse’s death would devastate me to the point of unreal pain and anxiety. I suppose that that is the fear I am dealing with the most - despite no increase in fear or apparent perception of threat life as we know it to exist goes on until the end of days on our merciless earth.