Dealing with Disappointment in the workplace

Working in the private security business brings with it several stereotyped of disappointments suffered because you felt neglected or lied to by your supervisor. This is not an anomaly at work nor is it something you can avoid as many places have disconnected office personnel with those in the field. How you cope with this situation is most important and can make the difference between staying with the employer or quitting and finding another line of work that is more suitable for your own personal needs or job expectations.

The type of disappointment you suffer may vary but usually, it is a standard variety of situations that are common to the trade or profession. It maybe you were passed up for a promotion or perhaps, you received an unfavorable performance evaluation or efficiency rating that may not be an accurate reflection of the job you are doing.

Such examples are often serious concerns for frustration and stress to build up and start your head boiling or brewing. Maybe your supervisor has not trained you well enough or given you fair shakes in job assignments making you feel slighted and sometimes mistreated.

As you begin to fill up with anger, resentment, and mixed emotions, you can feel yourself burning as the stress and anger increases. We accept the fact that disappointment, stress, and anxiety are part of life and that although a very complex emotion to deal with, it gives us all a tough time understanding and managing the situation when it arises.

What is most difficult is to deal with life with such frustrations and learning how to overcome or deal with them for life itself is not fair. You will experience disappointments and failures. It’s a guarantee that you can take to the bank. They may follow ups like a dark shadow stalking you along the wall or just ambush you when you least expect it. Unless you made a very foolish decision, there are no announcement or predictions when it comes to dealing with such adversities.

So, we learn in time that life is filled with disappointments and failures and sometimes, these are critical lessons of life that teach you the method how to deal with them and accept it as an essential and critical element for self-growth.

Nothing is worse than experiencing a heartbreaking moment that demoralizes you in a heartbeat. Some ‘disappoint’ present or create some heavy-hearted decision making and extremely difficult challenges. Regardless, heartbreaking as disappointments may be, it is an essential element for growth.

According to most psychologists, disappointment is important for personal growth. It motivates us to grow and move forward. But to treat disappointment as an agent for growth it is important to learn to manage it, effectively.

There are no 100 % guarantees that you, me or we can live in a ‘safe place’ for the rest of our lives. When we walk out of the safe confines of our home and schools we enter the corporate world - a place where everyone must fend for themselves and were disappointments come easy especially if you have chosen a profession or career that is already filled with stress.

Private security, law enforcement, and other high-stress occupations are filled with disappointments as you are dealing with the human factor that tends to always let us down

Imagine a presentation you worked extremely hard on and expected to blow everyone’s mind-off, but instead, it fails to create the desired impression. Disappointing indeed!  Or times when your boss took all the credit for the project you gave your heart and soul to.

Or in the worst-case scenario, a company you treat as your own rejects you by putting your name on the layoff list and conveniently asks you to wrap your bags and leave. These situations are common reasons of disappointments, but what matters most is our ability to handle the disappointments effectively.

Times like these demand us to make a quick and wise decision to either let our disappointments put us down or to step up, find a way around them and use them as an inspiration to grow. So, when you find yourself in a tricky situation at work and experience an overwhelming pang of sadness mixed with anger and frustration, follow these five essential steps below, as a way to cope with disappointment:

1.      Manage your thoughts and emotions – stay cool

2.     Don’t take it as a personal attack – deflect, don’t internalize it

3.     Reevaluate the situation objectively – remain logical

4.     Think of the big picture – not everything is about you

5.     Try again — or try another tactic – adapt or improvise

Perhaps you are thinking, easier said than done with managing your thoughts or emotions. Without a doubt, this is a heavy trick bag for many as it could offend or bring conflict into the problem or situation one way or another.

Dealing with any difficult situation can be tricky especially when your judgment is clouded by strong biases, prejudices, perceptions, emotions and unruly thoughts. Your strong emotional reaction can be disproportionate to the situation at hand so it is important to stop yourself from making any important decisions at that point or even to act on your feelings. Certainly, this is a very precarious situation to find yourself in and many times, it’s called a ‘career decision’ to speak up and resolve some issues even diplomatically or not so politically correctness.

Take a long count to ten. Do your best to take a few hours or a few days before you reach a calmer state of mind; when you do, only then should you act. This defeats the hoof in mouth syndrome where you literally put your foot in your mouth and say things that should best be thought over in a calmer state of mind and not in the haste of the moment.

Don’t take it as a personal attack but the chances are you will. Don’t take criticism of your work as a criticism of your skill set or capabilities and potential. They are two separate issues and should never be confused with each other.

When you work on something very closely you treat it like your baby and any comment or criticism is all too readily attributed to a personal attack. When you take something personally, it unnecessarily narrows your point of view and prevents you from thinking logically. It is best to distance yourself from the ‘stimulus or agitator’ for a while. Take a break from the moment - that way a real understanding of an event arises.

Re-evaluate and readjust your perception or perspectives. An objective evaluation [the opposite of a subjective evaluation] of the situation sometimes makes you realize that your expectations may have been unrealistic. So, it is best to adjust your thinking and your expectations with the newly created perception that is in fact, a reality. Don’t fall into the trap of regrets and guilt. See to the future and decide on an action plan.  

Think of the big picture and not just yourself. Distancing yourself from the situation that’s causing you trouble for a while can be healthy. It doesn’t mean you’re a coward or a quitter. It just means your wise enough to know when to stop and think. Upon thinking and taking some time off you’ll realize how to deal with the situation and secondly, a way to move forward and past the disappointment.

 Be flexible, don’t think just one way – step out of the box and try again or try another tactic or strategy. Once you accept that whatever happened is done and it’s time to move ahead. You have two simple choices either to try again if you believe it’s possible to succeed by giving it another shot - then go ahead and do it. But it is always wise to plan a new course of action by using a better tactic-learned from experience.

But the last most important thing is to not let your disappointments and failures get to your heart down and demoralize you to the point of added stress or frustration.  Always use them as a step to climb higher and a motivation to try even harder to reach your goals. Keep in mind, life is not fair. It is simply not fear and to expect anything else is only fooling yourself of the reality where you work, how you fit in that situation. We all suffer disappointment at work, but it's how we cope with that reality that makes the difference and really matters.